regrets..
(warning: highly psychological :D)
(warning: highly psychological :D)
i realize that people (including myself) have been regretting almost constantly what we havent done. and y we dont do somethin bout it.. it seems dat most of our regrets r about relationship choices, passed up opportunities, indiscretions, bad decisions, or procastrinations.
lets 1st discuss bout inaction.. the road that we did not take.. y do we regret past choices dat wud only affect us? at first glance, it seems dat no logical good can come out of these regrets.. ther have been many advices of these thoughts, one most easily remembered by Stephen Stills (did i get his name right?); "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."
what is d emotion triggered by regret? i think it is grief. a very selfish grief haha.. what good value can come of it? we can regret because we can imagine. we can imagine what the present would be if we took a different path in the past. but y did we take the present path that we have taken instead of the path we did not take? i believe bcoz we knew dat we cant take every path.. there wer choices to be made and bcoz we did not have the present information (knowledge) at the time, we thought that the choices we've made had greater emotional, logical, and intellectual (had d minimum risk mayb?) appeal. So regrets come from present information we have acquired that make us imagine of what things could have been, thus the saying "if i knew then what i know now..."
so when u regret working doing X instead of doing Y, or regret being with X when u couldve been with Y, etc etc.. this means we are unhappy and feel regret which allows us to imagine a different present.. we regret for what mightve been n grieve over the choices we've made.
unhappiness(grief) may bcome a catalyst, some sort of motivational push for us in our lives. it educates us..so it can be positive when correctly responded to.. by grieving something in d past, we gain valuable knowledge. for example, if u wer playing with something sharp (knife,sword,scissor?) and it slipped of ur fingers and cut u, u would feel pain(grief) from the xperience and not play with it again.. but if when it slipped it missed cutting u, u would have little or no grief at all n thus will probably play with it again in the near future..
but whats the purpose of regret? The imagination of "what might be" could still b positive as explained above.. but what about things dat r irreversible? what if it was too late? what if what d choices we've made could not be undone in the future (eg. signed a 10yr contract n realize u dont like d work, ur dream wo/man whom uve never had the guts 2xpress ur feelings to got married)? If its too late, then y do we still regret it?
I believe the answer is escapism.. when we r unhappy, we tend to create stories to comfort/console us.. we tend to imagine "what couldve been" and insert that in our present. our imaginations become so vivid that it can jump out of time and become a real possibility in our present! If we fail to rid of these imaginations, in time they stop becoming our consolation (positive) and become a regret (negative). We must be able to separate what is real and what is mere imagination.
7 Comments:
hahaha ada iklaan... =))
tu yg ngerasa infertile
yo api, how are you... still cant get my messenger on... will drop by from time to time... hey, got anymore two liners?
wats wrong? cant stand 2read my long postings? haha...
how bout my mail signature? dats a 2liner:
stars hide fires..
let light not see my black and dark desires...
nomor2 yang bisa dihubungi...
+49.... saya tulis no hp hkr di jerman nun jauh di sana yaa... biar bisa dihubungi wanita2 yg join hkr fansclub :D
woi
makin gila aja nih api
masa no. hp orang ditulis2 sih :(
lho...? yang minta kan hkr... tadi di atas tulisan saya tu... nomor2 yg bisa dihubungi.. ya no hkr lah :D
Post a Comment
<< Home