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• no nudity, sex, or violence. just plain obscenity.
• winner of best documentary at the sundance festival, this is a hillarious, must see documentary.
  

The Aristocrats is a classic joke that has been told for over 50years. It is a joke told by comedians to other comedians. It is one of the most (if not THE MOST) obscene joke there is. It consists of a perfect joke structure; it starts with an opening, the joke content, then ends in a two word punchline. The opening is what makes the joke special. It takes the listener to the beginning of the "roller coaster", giving them hope. And the geniousity is the content; its an open-ending content meaning the joke teller gets to put in anything s/he wants in the joke, putting as many obscene stories as possible so disgusting it is unimaginable. The listener is then on the roaller coaster.. It escalates as the story continues. The longer the story is, the higher the listener's coaster travels. And just when joke ends, the listener is at the peak of that hill and is so hysterical that s/he is laughing at all the dirty descriptions given by the joke teller that s/he is ready to explode and is expecting such a climax ending to the long travel uphill. Then the ending is so insignificant, such an anticlimax that it just ends in boom. And because of the insignificance of the punchline, the joke is so funny! This is a rare joke where no matter how obscene, disgusting, or racial the joke is, it doesnt offend people.

And here's the joke. The contents below consists of VERY VERY obscene material so please don't click the link below unless ur sure u want to continue. Make sure you are over 21yrs old and please make sure you haven't just eaten something.

A stage show agent in Las Vegas was just about to leave for home after a long day at the office. Just when he was about to open the door, a man barges in and says "sir! boy do I have the perfect act for you!". The agent, annoyed, says "no, no.. Ive seen em all. Besides, its my time to go home". "Please sir, just one minute. Im sure u've never seen this one. Its a family act where my whole family participates". "A family act, huh...? hmm... ok u got a minute, tell me what its about". "Tell u? Why, I can show u right now." and with that the whole family enters the agent's office. He brought his wife, a 10 year old daughter, 7year old son, and their pet horse.

The man then starts to strip his clothes off. His wife and children starts to do the same. They then start to piss on the floor. Then the wife lies down on her back while the husband squats just above her face and starts to crap in her mouth. The shit was just right; it wasnt the hard kind of shit nor the watery, dhiarrea kind. It was a perfect mixture of the two so it entered her mouth with a sloppery slip slop splaat kind of sound. The man then explains that this perfect mixture is acquired by eating lots of fibre and no meat for the last two meals before the act. He was very skilled with his shitting techniques.. He is experienced so his aim was always on the spot. He uses his attuned ears to listen and calculate where the shit lands in the throat of his wife so he knows when there are still spaces to fill.. and he fills them up all the time.. His son was doing exactly the same to his older sister, but not yet as skilled as his father as he still gets some shit on his sister's lips. But u can tell that he was a fast learner at this. So they start filling up shit in those throats until they fill up. The ladies then gargle the shit in their mouth. It was a beautiful sound u kno.. its like gargling using a mouthwash but it had a sort of heavy texture in the gargling.. They gargled till the shit sounds very very smooth.. it was like a blender.. They then start throwing up mixing vomit and shit on the piss filled floor. The whole family then starts to slip and slide on the piss, shit, and vomit all at once mixing them good.. it was like slish slosh slish slosh slish sluush all accross the floor.. when all four of them were covered in the piss shit and vomit, the father then goes to his wife and fucks her.. he fucks her real hard and good.. the son does the same to his sister.. they just fuck and fuck and fuck... after they finish, the father then switches with his son. the father gets his daughter to bend over as he fist fucks her ass. there was blood everywhere.. where does the blood come from, u ask? well if put the image in ur head of a full-grown man having big hands.. and i mean big fuckin popeye hands, fist fuckin a 10 year old girl with a little teeny tiny asshole, then u'd see, wudnt u, how there wud be pints and pints of blood. so as he was fist fuckin his daughter, she was screamin like it was the end of the world.. he didnt care less.. he just kept on fist in fist out fist in fist out until her face was so pale and her body became limp. While this was happening, the mother was on top of her son and doing the twirling-merry go round. and now this is where the horse comes in.. he starts to ass-fuck the boy.. and if u thought the little girl had it rough, u should see the boy.. I mean, he had his mom doing twirls on top of him and a horse stickin a "baseball bat" in his ass.. he was screamin a loud shrill... I mean this was a really fucked up family.. And then these two groups joined together.. it was beautiful.. i mean, its hard to explain.. they made so many shapes and patterns that it was just hard to comprehend how they managed to do it. at one time the horse was fuckin the mother while she licked her son's ass and the son was given a blow job by his sister. Dad at the time had his cock in his daughter while his head was fully inside the horse's ass. They just went at it again and again... it was just a wonder to behold.. Suddenly they all stopped and started giving pleasure to themselves.. the agent's door then opens and an old lady (the agent was later told that she was the kids' grandma) enters riding an old red bicycle. She circles the room a couple of times and parks the bike in the corner. She walks to the center of the room, sits down, and closes her eyes. Either that was a cue or by vigorous practice, they all came on grandma.. It was a horrendous mess. She was fully covered in white juice and was slimy everywhere.. and i mean EVERYWHERE! They made sure they didnt leave any drop of juice left and kept on pouring it on grandma.. As that ends, they all stood up and took a bow.

The agent was gaping dumbstruck. he was shell-shocked. After a few seconds he clapped slowly and said "wow.. what an act... that is ORIGINAL! what do u call urselves?"

The man then answers "The Aristocrats!"

hehehehehe....

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