Joke of the Day
One day avant-garde violinist Malcolm Goldstein, US Ambassador to Spain Eduardo Aguirre, and television's Tony Danza were on a jungle vacation together when they were caught by a tribal group.
Before they were about to be executed, they pleaded to the Queen of the Tribe for mercy. She said, ''Get me something good to eat. If I like it, you will be freed.'' The three men looked at each other and agreed. They then went into the jungle to look for some food
Malcolm Goldstein was the first to come back. He came up to the altar and offered grapes. The Queen tasted one and immediately spat it out. She ordered her servants to shove the rest of the grapes up Malcolm Goldstein's ass. The servants did their duty, and left Malcolm Goldstein lying on theground screaming.
Eduardo Aguirre was the next to arrive with some yummy apples. The same thing happened to him, but curiously he laughed as the apples were shoved up his ass. Malcolm Goldstein was shocked. Here he was with grapes up his ass howling in pain, but Eduardo Aguirre had several apples in his ass and he was laughing. He asked him ''What the hell are you laughing about?''
A laughing Eduardo Aguirre replied ''Tony Danza's coming back with a watermelon.'''
Keep Reading:
fast connection / slow connection
end of post, 0 comments
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
"Yes" = No
"No" = Yes
"Maybe" = No
"I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry
"We need" = I want
"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
"Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later.
"Sure, go ahead" = I don't want you to.
"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset you moron.
"We need to talk" = I need to complain.
"You're so manly" = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
"You're certainly attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think about?
"Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs
"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house
"I want new curtains" = and new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper, etc...
"I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep
"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive
"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not going to like
"I'll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
"Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful
"You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me
"Was that the baby?" = Why don't you get out of bed and rock him until he falls asleep
Answering the question, "What's wrong?"
"...The same old thing" = Nothing
"...Everything" = My PMS is acting up
"...Nothing, really" = It's just that you're such a jerk
Keep Reading:
fast connection / slow connection
end of post, 0 comments
David Blaine..
Some time ago I happened to catch his movie on tv.
I saw the episode where he stayed several days underground buried alive with no food.
I then remembered the stories of my late grandfather about his grandfather (my great great grandfather). In those days, people had powers (sakti) and my great2 grandad practiced his powers by burying himself for 40 days and 40 nights with no food nor water. I forgot the name of this activity (i'll ask my dad if i remember). Anyway, he stayed there buried alive with no coffin. He only had a string hung up a tree. Everyday someone would tug the rope and he'd tug back to indicate that he's still alive.
Sounds like a tall tale? I would think the same if I had not seen with my own eyes what powers my grandfather had. My cousin also has these powers but it seems that the powers diminish slightly with every generation. I once asked my grandad why this was so and he told me it was because the powerful gurus are afraid that their students will have greater power than him/her. So usually the students are each given partial powers.
And now these powers are dissapearing with each passing generation.
What does this blog have to do with david blaine?
Dunno :p
Keep Reading:
fast connection / slow connection
end of post, 0 comments
