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Senayan Place somehow sounds awkward. If it were my choice, I'd name it Senayan Palace.. sounds so much cooler :p

anywho.. I went there sunday afternoon with my girlfriend. Our main objective was to see the Tiara Lestari from Sensual to Elegance show and to checkout the new place. The mall/plaza (wats d difference between mall n plaza btw?) was very high-class. The architecture was pretty cool. The tenants were also high-class. High-class boutiques, restaurants, and bakeries.

Btw, the Tiara Lestari show was pretty weak. The pictures were printed on poster paper and glued to a frame. Honestly.. I have posters with better frame jobs than some of the pictures there. Im not complaining about the pictures. The pictures were ok.. It was the presentation that was weak. I think the word "crude" best defines it. I bet everything was done at the last minute (so indonesian..).. Tiara was also not as charming as i'd imagine her to be.. She wore a green kebaya. About her hair.. Either she didnt have a good hairday or she just tried out a new salon coz her hair wasnt as fluffy as it was when she was on Kick Andy-MetroTV. Ok enuf bout Tiara.. my comment is that it is an ok exhibition. the photos were good, but the presentation was standard. so dont expect somethin out of the ordinary bout the exhibition. They have 5 more days to make it much more presentable :)

Back to SP... the place was nice.. a bit small, but nice.. the overpriced clothing makes visiting the place ideal for window shopping only.. The best place (out of the few shops opened) was the Bali Deli. The place was kewl.. The sandwiches a bit overpriced but still reasonable n the dining tables are comfy.. but just as i was in awe about the Bali Deli, i was dissapointed that it was yet again another expat-owned place "borrowing" a local name. The Bali Deli supermarket was awesome though.. It had some very premium grocery items. The pasta section is complete, the fruits are organic. The price is quite competitive to those of other supermarkets such as Indofood, Hero. The only thing missing is the wine collection, plus I couldnt find any chip-dip! :( but other than that, other premium items such as meats, chocolate, salad dressing, italian pizza/spaghetti sauce, and other premium sauces are complete..

The Senayan Place is a nice place (see how the name is awkward?:p) and I cant wait to take a peek again when all the stores are open.

btw i think i was the first guy to take a dump in one of the toilets hihihi...

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• no nudity, sex, or violence. just plain obscenity.
• winner of best documentary at the sundance festival, this is a hillarious, must see documentary.
  

The Aristocrats is a classic joke that has been told for over 50years. It is a joke told by comedians to other comedians. It is one of the most (if not THE MOST) obscene joke there is. It consists of a perfect joke structure; it starts with an opening, the joke content, then ends in a two word punchline. The opening is what makes the joke special. It takes the listener to the beginning of the "roller coaster", giving them hope. And the geniousity is the content; its an open-ending content meaning the joke teller gets to put in anything s/he wants in the joke, putting as many obscene stories as possible so disgusting it is unimaginable. The listener is then on the roaller coaster.. It escalates as the story continues. The longer the story is, the higher the listener's coaster travels. And just when joke ends, the listener is at the peak of that hill and is so hysterical that s/he is laughing at all the dirty descriptions given by the joke teller that s/he is ready to explode and is expecting such a climax ending to the long travel uphill. Then the ending is so insignificant, such an anticlimax that it just ends in boom. And because of the insignificance of the punchline, the joke is so funny! This is a rare joke where no matter how obscene, disgusting, or racial the joke is, it doesnt offend people.

And here's the joke. The contents below consists of VERY VERY obscene material so please don't click the link below unless ur sure u want to continue. Make sure you are over 21yrs old and please make sure you haven't just eaten something.

A stage show agent in Las Vegas was just about to leave for home after a long day at the office. Just when he was about to open the door, a man barges in and says "sir! boy do I have the perfect act for you!". The agent, annoyed, says "no, no.. Ive seen em all. Besides, its my time to go home". "Please sir, just one minute. Im sure u've never seen this one. Its a family act where my whole family participates". "A family act, huh...? hmm... ok u got a minute, tell me what its about". "Tell u? Why, I can show u right now." and with that the whole family enters the agent's office. He brought his wife, a 10 year old daughter, 7year old son, and their pet horse.

The man then starts to strip his clothes off. His wife and children starts to do the same. They then start to piss on the floor. Then the wife lies down on her back while the husband squats just above her face and starts to crap in her mouth. The shit was just right; it wasnt the hard kind of shit nor the watery, dhiarrea kind. It was a perfect mixture of the two so it entered her mouth with a sloppery slip slop splaat kind of sound. The man then explains that this perfect mixture is acquired by eating lots of fibre and no meat for the last two meals before the act. He was very skilled with his shitting techniques.. He is experienced so his aim was always on the spot. He uses his attuned ears to listen and calculate where the shit lands in the throat of his wife so he knows when there are still spaces to fill.. and he fills them up all the time.. His son was doing exactly the same to his older sister, but not yet as skilled as his father as he still gets some shit on his sister's lips. But u can tell that he was a fast learner at this. So they start filling up shit in those throats until they fill up. The ladies then gargle the shit in their mouth. It was a beautiful sound u kno.. its like gargling using a mouthwash but it had a sort of heavy texture in the gargling.. They gargled till the shit sounds very very smooth.. it was like a blender.. They then start throwing up mixing vomit and shit on the piss filled floor. The whole family then starts to slip and slide on the piss, shit, and vomit all at once mixing them good.. it was like slish slosh slish slosh slish sluush all accross the floor.. when all four of them were covered in the piss shit and vomit, the father then goes to his wife and fucks her.. he fucks her real hard and good.. the son does the same to his sister.. they just fuck and fuck and fuck... after they finish, the father then switches with his son. the father gets his daughter to bend over as he fist fucks her ass. there was blood everywhere.. where does the blood come from, u ask? well if put the image in ur head of a full-grown man having big hands.. and i mean big fuckin popeye hands, fist fuckin a 10 year old girl with a little teeny tiny asshole, then u'd see, wudnt u, how there wud be pints and pints of blood. so as he was fist fuckin his daughter, she was screamin like it was the end of the world.. he didnt care less.. he just kept on fist in fist out fist in fist out until her face was so pale and her body became limp. While this was happening, the mother was on top of her son and doing the twirling-merry go round. and now this is where the horse comes in.. he starts to ass-fuck the boy.. and if u thought the little girl had it rough, u should see the boy.. I mean, he had his mom doing twirls on top of him and a horse stickin a "baseball bat" in his ass.. he was screamin a loud shrill... I mean this was a really fucked up family.. And then these two groups joined together.. it was beautiful.. i mean, its hard to explain.. they made so many shapes and patterns that it was just hard to comprehend how they managed to do it. at one time the horse was fuckin the mother while she licked her son's ass and the son was given a blow job by his sister. Dad at the time had his cock in his daughter while his head was fully inside the horse's ass. They just went at it again and again... it was just a wonder to behold.. Suddenly they all stopped and started giving pleasure to themselves.. the agent's door then opens and an old lady (the agent was later told that she was the kids' grandma) enters riding an old red bicycle. She circles the room a couple of times and parks the bike in the corner. She walks to the center of the room, sits down, and closes her eyes. Either that was a cue or by vigorous practice, they all came on grandma.. It was a horrendous mess. She was fully covered in white juice and was slimy everywhere.. and i mean EVERYWHERE! They made sure they didnt leave any drop of juice left and kept on pouring it on grandma.. As that ends, they all stood up and took a bow.

The agent was gaping dumbstruck. he was shell-shocked. After a few seconds he clapped slowly and said "wow.. what an act... that is ORIGINAL! what do u call urselves?"

The man then answers "The Aristocrats!"

hehehehehe....

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I was fortunate to be given the opportunity to attend the Awards at Hotel Mulia last Friday. As a partner of Business Review, I, on behalf of Avevo Dinamika, was given a free invitation. Unlike the BUMN Awards (also held by Business Review) last year, the Anugerah Business Review Awards was very high-class. Held at the Hotel Mulia Ballroom, the invitees were from the Upper Management (Directors and Commisioners).

I was truly humbled being in the same room as the Directors of United Tractors, Wijaya Karya, Telkom, ANTAM, Holcim, ASTRA Otoparts, Bukit Asam, Bank NISP, ASKES, Angkasa Pura, Bank Mandiri, Waskita, Gajah Tunggal, Oracle, General Electric ( the amazing Mrs. Hermian Retnani Sarengat) and so many more directors and CEOs of various State Owned Companies and Emmitents.

The event wasn't just a lame award ceremony, but there were also high-quality discussions. The topic of the first discussion was Good Governance with speakers from CEO of Telkom, Wijaya Karya, and ANTAM. The second discussion consisted of speakers from CEO of Wijaya Karya (again), Bank NISP, and Pegadaian. These two discussions were moderated by Mr. Tonny Roland Silitonga. The last discussion was moderated by Mrs. Hermian R. Sarengat (CEO of GE) with speakers from HR Director of Wijaya Karya, Telkom, and United Tractor with the topic focusing on HR Development as a key success factor in global competition.

The discussions were several degrees above my level and I just couldnt help being overwhelmed with awe. They really are remarkable people. The awards itself was not as dramatic since the winners can be guessed. With 13 categories, Telkom closed the evening by winning the Best Corporate Award. No matter how dirty or how bad their image is, they still hold 80% of the market of telecommunications in Indonesia despite competitors popping up. Their strong fundamentals and witty policies can be reflected by the rise of the value of their stock which has increased 5 folds in the last 3 years.

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What a party!
*again, some names r aliases

Callista's b-day was on d 6th of April.. Meet her once n u'd kno she was an arian haha..
anyway, since the 6th was on a thursday, she had d party on sat.nite.. she gave me the notice on sat.mornin.. the party was 2b @ barbados cafe around 9.30pm..

Around 8 I was on the road n I called hari whether he was comin 2d party n he said he was @a hotel in mampang n asked 4a lift. as he walked 2 my car, i saw he brought his gf.. "hm..wat r u 2 doin in a hotel?" he answered "a friend opened a room n we wer just visiting.." YEAH RITE!

anywho.. callista then called n said ther was a change o plans n d venue was moved 2 Dizzie Lounge.. I was a first timer there since the place is relatively new.. A R&B disco-bar.. When we arrived around 10pm, ther wer already lots o people ther.. most o them from SMUN70 haha.. liquour was already pouring with an almost empty whisky bottle n beer bottles.. the music was ok, but rarely my taste so i rarely went to d dance floor.. i was amused by:

1. hari's mixing of all types o liquor haha.. he kept on calling the waitresses askin 4bottles after bottles of all sorts of colors n just mixed n passed d drinks around.
2. the girls.. some sober, some half drunk, some very drunk... some in normal clothes, some in tight dresses, n some in skimpy dresses.. all danced wildly 2 d music.. dini was unstopable, callista kept on movin tho she was barely able 2stand, lia was just hot, n others i shouldnt mention hahaha..

the party was cool, but i had 2ditch outta d place b4 2am coz i had plans 4d next mornin :(
oh well.... next time.. next time...

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